Episode 5: "Operation: Gold Diggers Part 2"

EXT. FREEDOM TOWER – NIGHT

The iconic Freedom Tower looms against the night sky. For the 2nd time the gang revisit the scene from 911.  Below, CONNIE, GINA, BEN, QUINTON, and ALFIE—all disguised as janitors—sneak towards the entrance.

INT. FREEDOM TOWER – BASEMENT – NIGHT

Dimly lit and dusty. Connie leads the group through narrow, forgotten corridors, clutching a barely legible, hand-drawn map.

CONNIE
(whispering)
The gold’s here, hidden in a secret vault. We just need to find it.

BEN
(sarcastic)
So far, all I’ve seen is 20-year-old dust and janitor carts. No gold.

QUINTON
(grumbling)
Why are these plans always in basements? Can’t we rob a place with better lighting at least?

GINA trips over a rusty lever sticking out of the floor.

GINA
(annoyed)
Seriously? Who leaves this junk lying around?

She yanks the lever, and a hidden door creaks open, revealing a swirling portal emitting a strange light.

GINA
(nervous)
Okay… that’s definitely not gold.

QUINTON
(stunned)
It’s a portal. A freaking portal.

CONNIE
(triumphant)
I knew it! It’s not just about the gold. This portal is how they’ve been controlling time! The lizard people are looping us back to 1999, keeping us trapped in the same timeline!

BEN
(scoffing)
Oh sure, and we just don’t notice because we’re aging, right?

ALFIE
(from the back, calm as ever)
Aging’s not real, mate. Just a trick. Poison in the air, water, food. Keeps you distracted, thinking you’re getting old.

Everyone turns to Alfie.

GINA
(confused)
Wait… what?

ALFIE
(grinning, still wiping a glass from his bartending kit)
Aging’s a myth. They’ve been poisoning us for centuries to make us believe it. Same with the weather, by the way.

CONNIE
(nodding)
Exactly! Weather’s a mass hallucination, brainwashed into us by the lizard-controlled networks. It’s all a mind game.

The group stares, caught between disbelief and fascination.

GINA
(chuckling)
Are we even doing this heist anymore, or are we just unraveling the universe?

INT. PORTAL ROOM – NIGHT

Connie leads the group closer to the portal. Ben hesitates.

BEN
(panicking)
Hold up, are we really gonna step into that thing?

GINA
(mocking)
What’s the worst that could happen? Time travel to the wrong decade?

Before anyone can respond, the portal suddenly sucks them all in.

EXT. ANCIENT SUMERIA – DAY

The gang tumbles out of the portal, landing in the midst of a bustling ancient Sumerian city. Locals in ornate robes go about their business. Giant statues loom overhead.

QUINTON
(looking around, disoriented)
Oh... we are so not in Manhattan anymore.

A loud cheer rises from a distant crowd. They look over to see Alfie perched on a throne, being worshipped by the masses.

GINA
(wide-eyed)
Is that... Alfie?!

BEN
(dryly)
Of course, he’s a god.

They cautiously approach Alfie, who’s lounging comfortably, being fed grapes by Sumerian attendants.

INT. ALFIE’S THRONE ROOM – DAY

The gang gathers inside Alfie’s massive throne room, filled with gold and ancient artifacts. Alfie grins as the group looks at him, dumbfounded.

QUINTON
(in disbelief)
So… you’re a god here too?

ALFIE
(shrugging)
Well, for the next couple of centuries, yeah. Turns out being a bartender and being a god aren’t all that different.

CONNIE
(determined)
Okay, but we’re here for the gold! Where is it?

ALFIE
(leaning back)
Gold? Oh, there’s no gold. The real treasure is knowledge. This is the era where I first learned how the lizards started messing with time.

QUINTON
(confused)
Wait… lizards? Time manipulation? We’re stuck in this loop because of them?

ALFIE
(nodding)
Yep. CERN’s been keeping us in a loop since 1999. You ever wonder why the world keeps feeling like it’s about to end? They’re pumping fear into the news—trying to get everyone to agree the world’s gonna blow up.

GINA
(skeptical)
But... people are aging.

ALFIE
(nonchalant)
That’s the trick. It’s not real. They poison the air, the water, the food—keep everyone distracted, thinking they’re getting old, when really, time’s just looping back on itself.

CONNIE
(grinning)
So, Alfie... you want to tell them the truth about money?

ALFIE
(sighing)
Ah, money... the greatest trick of all. They’ve got everyone voluntarily converting their magic (Mana) into paper. Why? 'Cause they’ve got no magic of their own, so they hoard yours.

BEN
(incredulous)
Wait, wait, wait… money is just… magic?

ALFIE
(nodding, smiling)
Exactly. It’s just energy, mate. You’re out here creating, manifesting, and they swoop in, give you some fancy paper, and boom, they’ve got your magic. Meanwhile, you’re stuck working to get more of it, thinking it's worth something.

GINA
(half-laughing)
So, what, we’re just handing over our power for… paper?

ALFIE
(grinning)
Yep. It’s a cosmic scam. But hey, people fall for it because they think that’s all there is.

QUINTON
(sarcastically)
Great, so we’re being conned by lizard bankers too. This just gets better and better.

CONNIE
(excited)
And the weather! Don’t forget the weather! It’s all fabricated. They use the networks to brainwash communities into believing the weather predictions! We manifest it ourselves.

The group processes this, shocked. Gina just shakes her head, trying to grasp it all.

GINA
(half-laughing)
So you’re telling me, aging, weather, and money aren’t real… because of lizard people and time loops?

ALFIE
(grinning)
Exactly.

FLASHBACK - INT. RICHIE'S MANSION – NIGHT

Earlier that night. The gang sits around Richie’s lavish poker table. Cards are scattered, but Richie is fixated on his karaoke machine.

RICHIE
(dramatically standing up)
Guys, I can’t do this. The world needs more Bohemian Rhapsody.

BEN
(exasperated)
Richie, we’re in the middle of a hand!

GINA
(laughing)
You say that like anyone’s actually playing.

Richie dramatically hits play on the karaoke machine and belts out the first line of “Bohemian Rhapsody.” The rest of the group throws down their cards in defeat.

INT. ANCIENT SUMERIA – BACK TO PRESENT

The gang stares at Alfie, still trying to process his godlike wisdom. Outside, the bustling sounds of Sumerian life fill the room.

BEN
(dryly)
So, what’s the plan now? We take down the lizards, stop the loop, and… solve aging?

ALFIE
(laughing)
You lot worry too much. First, let’s get out of Sumeria. Then we’ll talk about taking down the lizards.

END OF EPISODE

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