Armageddon Gone Wild! - Episode 2: "Conspiracy Confirmed - Three Years Later"



Episode 2: "Conspiracy Confirmed - Three Years Later"


OPENING SCENE - EXT. CITY SKYLINE - NIGHT

(The world is in chaos. The aftermath of 9/11 and the subsequent wars have changed the landscape of global politics. The camera pans over a city filled with ominous news headlines flashing on digital billboards: “GOVERNMENT ADMITS TO LIZARD PEOPLE,” “ALIENS DEMAND EQUAL RIGHTS,” “IRAQ WAR COVER-UP EXPOSED: THE GODS WALK AMONG US.”)


CUT TO: INT. BEN’S BUNKER - NIGHT

(Ben, Gina, Quinn, Quinton, Richie, and Alfie are gathered around a holographic news report. Connie, now a reluctant celebrity due to her accidental conspiracy leak, is being interviewed about her "predictions" on national television.)

NEWS ANCHOR
So, Connie, three years ago you stood at that podium and confirmed every wild conspiracy theory you’d ever had. Now, the world knows the truth. How does it feel to be right about everything?

CONNIE (ON TV)
(With a tired expression)
Honestly? It’s exhausting. I didn’t want to be right! But it turns out, the Iraq Wars? Not about WMDs at all. It was all about Alfie.

(The gang looks over at Alfie, who is casually sipping tea.)

GINA
(Sarcastically)
Great, Alfie. So the entire world went to war because of you?

ALFIE
(Nonchalant)
Well, technically, they were fighting over me. But they didn’t know that. I was just a trapped Sumerian god in a shiny artifact in some forgotten tomb in Iraq. Honestly, you humans made a bigger deal out of it than necessary.


FLASHBACK - IRAQ WAR 1: THE LOST ARTIFACT OF ALFIE

EXT. IRAQ DESERT - NIGHT (EARLY 90s)

(A covert military operation is underway. Soldiers are running through the sands, passing ancient ruins. Deep underground, we see a hidden chamber, where a glowing artifact pulses ominously. Special forces agents are confused as they realize their true mission isn't about military objectives, but something more ancient.)

COMMANDER
(Whispers into a radio)
What the hell is this? We’re supposed to be looking for weapons, not some…weird glowing jar.

(As they approach the artifact, Alfie’s essence starts to awaken. The artifact opens, releasing a blinding light, and Alfie appears in his ancient Sumerian god form—mysterious, with a touch of sass.)

ALFIE
(Stretching)
Ah, freedom at last! Thanks, fellas. I’ve been stuck in there for a few millennia. Where’s the party?

COMMANDER
(Stunned)
What…who are you?

ALFIE
(Smiling)
Just your friendly neighborhood Sumerian god. You can call me Alfie. Now, if you could kindly take me somewhere that’s not dusty, I’d appreciate it.

(The soldiers exchange bewildered glances. Cue chaos as rival factions arrive to claim the artifact, triggering a supernatural skirmish.)


CUT BACK TO PRESENT - INT. BEN’S BUNKER

BEN
(Sighs)
So Iraq War 1 was really just about getting you out of a jar?

ALFIE
(Laughs)
Pretty much. They had no idea. I could’ve stayed there, but hey, why let the fun pass me by?

QUINTON
And Iraq War 2? Was that just a sequel no one asked for?

ALFIE
(Grinning)
Ah, that was about rescuing my wife. The real treasure. She got stuck in her own artifact, of course. Typical relationship problems, you know?


FLASHBACK - IRAQ WAR 2: THE RESCUE MISSION

EXT. IRAQI TEMPLE RUINS - DUSK (EARLY 2000s)

(The second Iraq War is in full swing, but beneath the surface, secret agents are scouring ancient sites, searching for another mysterious artifact. They find it in a crumbling temple, glowing just like Alfie's artifact. Special forces swoop in, but they’re not the only ones. Rival factions—supernatural entities and other ancient gods—are vying for control.)

SPECIAL AGENT
(Touching his earpiece)
We’ve located it. The second artifact. It matches the first. Command, what are we dealing with here?

COMMAND
(Radio voice)
This isn't about WMDs. We’re dealing with gods. Do not let her fall into enemy hands.

(The artifact pulses, and just like with Alfie, it opens to reveal Alfie’s wife—ethereal, powerful, and slightly irritated.)

ALFIE’S WIFE
(Rubbing her temples)
Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting for centuries. Alfie always was slow.

SPECIAL AGENT
(Stunned)
You’re…a god?

ALFIE’S WIFE
(Smiling)
Obviously. Now, where’s my husband?

(A sudden explosion rocks the temple as shadowy figures appear, trying to stop the reunion.)


CUT BACK TO PRESENT - INT. BEN’S BUNKER

GINA
So…this whole thing was about getting you and your wife back together?

ALFIE
(Shrugs)
The cosmic balance and all that. The other gods didn’t want us reunited. They’re scared of our combined power.

QUINN
Wait—if you two reunited, what happens to the world?

ALFIE
(Tilting his head)
That’s the fun part. We get to decide! Kinda like cosmic chess. But instead of pieces, we move entire civilizations. Keeps things interesting.

BEN
(Groaning)
No wonder the government didn’t want this getting out. This sounds like the worst soap opera ever.


CUT TO: INT. RICHIE’S MANSION - NIGHT

(It’s poker night. The gang is trying to unwind after the day’s revelations. Richie is, as usual, confidently betting way too much while Alfie lounges in the background, looking smug.)

RICHIE
(Laughing)
Alright, boys. I’m all in! This time, I’m not losing.

BEN
(Raising an eyebrow)
Richie, you bet your mansion last time and ended up singing Don’t Stop Believin’ mid-hand. Are you sure you want to do this?

RICHIE
(Breezily)
Pfft, that was the old me. I’ve learned from my mistakes. Plus, my karaoke game is on point now.

QUINTON
(Smirking)
How do you even afford to keep losing like this? Are your parents secretly the Rothschilds?

RICHIE
(Shrugs)
Please...

(Richie’s overconfidence is once again his downfall. Halfway through the game, he starts humming Bohemian Rhapsody and forgets to finish the hand, losing everything again.)

ALFIE
(Leaning over to Ben)
You know, in ancient Sumeria, we had a version of poker, too. But the stakes were a bit higher. You could lose your entire city if you weren’t careful.

BEN
(Shaking his head)
Of course you did.

BEN
(Shuffling cards)
You know, Alfie, you’ve been around forever. Any wild reincarnation stories?

ALFIE
(Sighs dramatically, setting down his cup)
Oh, you have no idea. Let me tell you about the time I had to reincarnate as a witch.

QUINN
(Raising an eyebrow)
Wait, you were a witch?

ALFIE
(Nods, leaning forward)
Yup. And trust me, it’s not as glamorous as Hollywood makes it out to be. I got beheaded 500 times—500 times!—before I finally figured out that being a witch was way more of a hassle than advertised.

QUINTON
(Laughing)
500 beheadings? What kept bringing you back for more?

ALFIE
(Shrugs)
I thought it would be all broomsticks, casting spells, and hexing people who cut in line. But no one told me about the angry mobs with pitchforks. And let me tell you, getting your head chopped off gets real old by the third or fourth time.

GINA
(Smirking)
So, what was the lesson? Don’t mess with humans and their torches?

ALFIE
(Smiling wryly)
The lesson was: never trust the “job perks” Hollywood sells you. Being a witch is way less “wand-waving fun” and more “ducking from guillotines.” I think that was the universe’s way of telling me to chill out on the magic for a few lifetimes.

BEN
(Chuckling)
I can’t even imagine the paperwork for reincarnation 501.

ALFIE
(Shrugs)
At that point, you just hand over your head and wait for the next life. But hey, at least I got to perfect my latte-making skills after that.

(RICHIE, now fully engrossed in his karaoke performance, begins belting out “My Heart Will Go On,” blissfully unaware that he’s losing again.)


CUT TO: EXT. OUTSIDE BEN’S BUNKER - NIGHT

(The gang steps outside after poker night, looking up at the stars. Alfie’s wife appears in the sky, her ethereal form swirling through the cosmos.)

ALFIE’S WIFE
(Voice booming)
Alfie, are you coming, or are you going to keep playing games with mortals?

ALFIE
(Laughing)
Coming, my love. It’s time to show the humans what real power looks like.

(The stars shimmer as Alfie and his wife begin to manipulate the cosmos, subtly changing the world’s course while the gang watches in awe.)


FADE OUT.

END EPISODE.

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