When Everyone's a God: The Divine Dictator Dilemma



Blog Title: When Everyone's a God: The Divine Dictator Dilemma

In the world of dictators, Kim Jong-un reigns supreme with his delusions of godhood. Picture this: Kim, sitting on a throne of nuclear threats and propaganda, staring into the mirror every morning, whispering, "Who's the godliest of them all?" The mirror, of course, never dares to answer back—lest it mysteriously shatters and ends up on the wrong side of a labor camp.

But what happens when everyone, not just Kim, ascends to divine status? Imagine the awkwardness at the next United Nations meeting when Kim struts in, ready to play the part of the almighty, only to find that every world leader is glowing, haloed, and sipping ambrosia. "Oh, you too?" he might mumble, hiding his surprise under those trademark sunglasses.

Suddenly, Kim's god complex hits a snag. When Jesus said he was divine and so are you, he wasn’t talking just to you, Mr. Kim, but everyone.  Otherwise, you would have gotten a text and not a copy of a 2000-year-old spiritual self-help guide. Or was it that Vertical Horizon song that messed you up?

When everyone’s a god, being a dictator starts to feel less like a divine right and more like being the last kid picked for dodgeball—except in this case, the dodgeballs are literal thunderbolts hurled by newly minted deities with a bone to pick. Kim, meet Thor. Thor, meet Kim. Cue the lightning strike.

Now, Kim faces a serious identity crisis. He's spent years cultivating the perfect persona: a mix of deity, dictator, and, let’s be honest, a touch of bad haircut. But how does one maintain an iron grip on power when even the lowliest farmer in the DPRK has just grown wings and started flying around his rice paddies? "I'm the only god here!" Kim might scream into the void, but alas, the void is too busy enjoying its newfound omnipresence to care.

And what of the once-terrified citizens? With their newfound godly powers, they start realizing that maybe, just maybe, they don't have to listen to a man whose favorite pastime is inspecting potato farms. Revolutions have been sparked by less. After all, being gods on Earth and living a human experience was supposed to be about feeling good and having fun, right? After all, good is god with an extra "o."

Kim's ego, once inflated to divine proportions, might just deflate faster than a balloon in a cactus patch. It's hard to be a god among gods, especially when your subjects suddenly have more exciting things to do—like parting seas, smiting unworthy idols (sorry, Kim), and finding out what heaven’s Wi-Fi password is.

So what does Kim do? Maybe he tries to rebrand. "Kim Jong-un: The People’s God." But branding only works when there’s a market for it, and it turns out, when everyone’s a god, the market for demigod-dictators drops faster than the DPRK's approval rating at a freedom rally.

In the end, Kim might realize the cold, hard truth: being a god was never about power or fear; it was about the belief of others. And when the whole world ascends, the throne of dictatorship crumbles. Kim might still be a god, but now he’s just one among many, left to wonder where he went wrong. Maybe, just maybe, the problem wasn’t the people—it was the dictator who thought he was untouchable.

And that, dear readers, is the divine dictator dilemma. Welcome to the age of godly equality, where even Kim Jong-un has to face the music…and maybe learn how to play nice with others.


Footnote: Being connected to the universe means living from your heart space and connecting with your soul. Are you really? Because most wannabe dictators are not. Who would even aspire to want to be a dictator once they find out the gig is equivalent to managing a dog park, cleaning up sht and breaking up the occasional dog fight? Unless you like the nickname dic or tater. Don't get me started on the other dic.. I mean potato yeild inspectors. At least, I can finally appreciate Ron White's Tater Salad jokes.*


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